To the boy who broke my heart
by billings girl
Summary: She managed to avoid Peter Kavinsky since two years ago, until she run into him at a party in her university during her final year. She tried so hard to forget him but when their gaze met it's all coming back, she tough she handled it but from this moment she is beginning to loose the control.


There is blue everywhere when I arrive in the Hall, blue balloon, white tablecloth laying on the table. A band is playing some music on a big scene. It's crazy there is so much people tonight. I can state that the party already started, students are definitely having fun. I did not make enough pastry for the people. Josh should have warn me about it.

Ouh. UNC must have put a lot of money on this party. Too bad that the lacrosse team lost the game tonight…  
It's Iris who talked. She surprised me, I turn around to face her. She is beautiful tonight with her long brown hair and her leather skirt. Iris is always slaying. She is also one of my first friends in UNC we met on a chemistry class on the first year. She managed to provoke on an experience an explosion and I stayed to help her. We decided for our final year to share an apartment with some other friends an it's way different than when I used to live in Virginia with my parents. It's another experience…

Josh did not mention it to us, this party is going to taste bitter for the team.

So UVA won… I decided not to go, I am very supportive of my friends in the lacrosse team especially Josh, Joshua Hollis the team captain, but I did not want to see Peter Kavinsky the star of the UVA lacrosse team on the field. I always escape this match, because even if it's been two years it always feel so hurtful.

Can I have one cookie? She takes it from the plate before I have the time to answer. I take it back.

Keep dreaming. You ate all of the pastry I made this morning and there is clearly not enough cookies for this party. But they are so amazing, I cannot stop myself LJ, you are too gifted. She answer with her cute face.  
I am going to put them on the table, please behave, I answer firmly.

I try to make my way through the tables with my arms full of pastries, this is not really easy but it's not like I am still the girl that I was on high school, the shy Lara Jean. My experience in college definitely changed me, before i would have stayed in my home on a Friday night cooking or reading which I still do but I am also able to party with my friends, I am comfortable now, I am not afraid anymore to let myself go, to meet people and to have fun. It feels right. This place is full of students that I know. I finally get to put the plates on the table. Now I can own the night I put white knit dress with beige thigh boots for the occasion. I scan the room, my friends are already dancing near the scene, even the lacrosse team arrived they do not seem disappointed they are even shouting the lyric of the song played by the band. I smile for myself and managed to cross the room to join them.  
Stella, saw me too and now she is shouting at me and making big signs, it's her way to invite me to dance. Stella is everything a girl want to be she is the golden girl : tall, blond and crazy. She is not from California for nothing.  
She takes my hand and jump to encourage me to dance. Let's go LJ.

And here we go. I am letting myself go, my body is following the rhythm of the music, and my hips don't lie tonight. Miss Independant of ne-yo is played by the band. Everyone around me is having fun. It's snowing outside, the atmosphere is magic. The girls are now making a circle and, of course Stella and Kiran are inside it shouting as usual. Now they all are looking at me. I know what they are going to ask, they all watch the scene. I did it twice but tonight there is too much people in this room it's totally out of question. A few people know about it and even if I am not anymore the Lara Jean who is afraid of everything this is too personal.

I step back, trying to escape before it happens. But I hit something, more someone actually it's soft and hard at the same time, a hot tall body, with a smell that I know too well. My eyes are seeing it but my brain don't want to treat the information and I do not want to face the consequences of this little meeting. My heart is already racing and when I look up. It's him. Let me tell you Karma is a bitch. It's been two years that i've been trying to escape this and it hits me at a UNC party, it's totally unexpected and unfair. I step back.

« Covey? What are you doing here ? » He is surprised to see me here, he is analyzing me, frowning. Well I am surprised too. He is way more handsome than he was before as if it was possible. He is grinning now. Well, I am also surprised buddy. Hum, we are at UNC my university, plus it's a party for the player of the university…I am the one surprised.  
I mean… at a party, you are not the type of girl who goes out on Friday now.

Now I am angry. I was going to answer but the lacrosse team and my friend are shouting and clapping there hands, looking at me.

LJ ! LJ ! Lj! LJ! COME ON.

I take a breath, nod to them to say that I am going to do it and turn to face Peter. It's not a bad idea, especially if I can escape this awkward conversation.

I am sorry, I have to go. They are not going to give up.

I don't let him the time to answer.I wave at the group and head for the scene, the band is now waiting, I am not embarrassed, there is a rush of adrenaline in my blood right now. I climb the stairs ans notice my choice to the band. I know that my choice is influenced by my mood and the conversation I had with Peter. I grab the microphone.

It was not expected but some people are very insistant here. Let's have a little fun tonight.

I choose to sing We can't stop from Miley Cyrus, I close my eyes and start when the time comes for me.I don't know why I am trying to show him that I am not happy with this commentary it should let me insensitive, but instead of this I can stop myself from looking at him.

It's our party we can do what we want It's our party we can say what we want It's our party we can love who we want We can kiss who we want We can see who we want It's our party we can do what we want It's our party we can say what we want It's our party we can love who we want We can kiss who we want We can see who we want Red cups and sweaty bodies everywhere Hands in the air like we don't care 'Cause we came to have so much fun now Got somebody here might get some now If you're not ready to go home Can I get a hell no 'Cause we gonna go all night 'Till we see the sunlight alright So la da da di we like to party Dancing with Molly Doing whatever we want,  
This is our house This is our rules And we can't stop (whoa)  
And we won't stop (whoa)  
Can't you see it's we who own the night Can't you see it we who bout' that life And we can't stop (whoa)  
And we won't stop (whoa)  
We run things, things don't run we Don't take nothing from nobody yeah yeah

His eyes are on me too my heart is racing again, but I ignore it, I am too angry and he is too surprised. I never told Peter that I could sing. It's Iris who discovered it while I was cooking and she forced me to perform more often. Overtime the chorus comes I cannot stop myself from watching him. It's like I am saying ' See I changed. I can have fun without you. I can't stop having fun now I am not crying watching you're Instagram every night Kavinsky. »

It's our party we can do what we want It's our party we can say what we want It's our party we can love who we want We can kiss who we want We can see who we want

He never looked at me like this. I cannot decipher, his expression.

It's our party we can do what we want to It's our house we can love who we want to It's our song we can sing if we want to It's my mouth I can say what I want to yea, yea, yeah And we can't stop (whoa)  
And we won't stop (whoa)  
Can't you see it's we who own the night Can't you see it we who bout' that life And we can't stop (whoa)  
And we won't stop (whoa)  
We run things, things don't run we Don't take nothing from nobody, yeah yeah Yeah yeah, yeah yeah,

(We can do what we want, we can do what we want) hey

Now everyone is clapping their hands, even him, it's unexpected, I choose let myself go again if I keep looking at him I will be forced to finish this discussion with him, instead of this I keep dancing.

One thing is sure Peter Kavinsky is not going to disturb me. Never again, I swear to myself. 


End file.
